Traumatized Children and Sleep

Many children who have experienced trauma struggle with sleep, particularly those who have been sexually abused. Sleep is a time that children who have been hurt feel especially vulnerable. Night time can be scary for adults and children alike. For example, think about a street alley in the daytime, you probably wouldn’t be afraid to walk down it. However, you would likely be very fearful of walking down a dark alley at night, not knowing what you might experience. This is the same type of fear hurt children can experience at bedtime.

A few key items to think about in the sleep process are:

1. Attachment: have you and the child built a strong, healthy connection to one another?

The child must feel attached, safe, and connected with his or her caregiver in order to begin forming healthy sleep patterns.

2. Child needs caregiver to soothe: can the child be calmed in a situation by you, the caregiver? (i.e., when child is upset, will he or she calm when soothed by you?)

After the child and caregiver have built a connection, the child will begin to rely on the caregiver for comfort in times of distress in order to calm.

3. Child is able to calm him or herself: does the child soothe him or herself in any way? (i.e., sucking, transition object such as a ‘blankie’)

Once the child is able to soothe with the caregiver, the child can begin learning healthy self-calming techniques. The caregiver can teach the child to self-soothe by building upon calming activities the child is already using. For example, if a child carries a ‘blankie’, the caregiver can be sure this blankie is in the bed with the child each night.

Nightmares and Night Terrors

Many children who have been hurt have nightmares and night terrors during their sleep, ways to address this include:

If the child talks with you about the dream, listen quietly, reflect their statements, and acknowledge the child’s feelings. This can help the child normalize fears and desensitize the nightmare and its scary content. (Do not ask lots of questions or dismiss the child’s feelings.)

Allow the child to sleep in a place where they feel safe. Do not punish a child for seeking you for comfort at night after a bad dream. Offer physical comfort if the child will accept it (i.e., rocking, patting, or holding.)

One very important factor in sleep regulation for your child is a consistent bedtime with the same evening routine each night.

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About Stevie Wilson, LPC

Stevie Wilson is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in working with children and families.

View all posts by Stevie Wilson, LPC

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