Making Sense of Our Past

None of us have made it this far in life unharmed emotionally. Many times, the hurts we experienced in our past continue to affect us in our daily lives. Therapy focused on identifying and processing your adult attachment style can bring you to healing.

An unresolved past can cause difficulty in every relationship we have. It can cause problems at work, at school and in our leisure activities. Because your personal attachment style can have great consequences for your marriage partner and children, you may want to become more familiar with your own attachment style and how it came to be. There are four categories of adult attachment which include: secure, dismissive, entangled and disorganized. Many of us didn’t develop secure attachments in childhood which has led to relationship struggles in our adult lives. Fortunately, we are not destined to have the same attachment style that we developed as children; we can overcome a less-than-secure attachment style by recognizing the attachment style we now have and taking steps to become a secure adult. The good news is that when we make sense of our own childhood, research clearly shows we actually create an internal sense of openness to whatever our loved one brings to us. Whether they’re feeling angry or sad or frightened, when we understand what those feelings have meant in our lives, from our earliest days with our parents to even more recent times, then we’re able to be fully present for our loved one. And what study after study shows is that presence, to be connected to what’s really going on with your loved one, free of expectation and judgement, your relationship is going to thrive.

Enjoy this video clip of Dr. Brene Brown on healthy connection.

This short video clip of Dr. Daniel Siegel provides an overview on how making sense of our pasts can have a lasting impact on our child and our relationships with them.

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To learn more about how to help your child heal emotionally, please read my post about play therapy.

About Stevie Wilson, LPC

Stevie Wilson is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in working with children and families.

View all posts by Stevie Wilson, LPC

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